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Eintracht-Kolumne Ballhorn: Oh what a night 

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Von: Thomas Stillbauer

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Randal Kolo Muani jubelt nach dem Tor zum 1:0 durch seinen Teamkollegen Kamada.
Randal Kolo Muani jubelt nach dem Tor zum 1:0 durch seinen Teamkollegen Kamada. ©  Arne Dedert/dpa

Eintracht Frankfurt ist gegen Leipzig völlig außer Rand und Band. Ist das überhaupt noch Eintracht Frankfurt? Unserem Kolumnisten Ballhorn kommt das alles englisch vor.  

Englische Wochen, meine Damen und Herren. Wie schon früher einmal schreibt Ballhorn, the only live ticker, that appears first after the match, this time in english language. 4-0? Can he trust his own eyes? Get crazy yourselves.     

-29 Minuten: Hello again.
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-28 Minutes: I say simply …
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-27 Minutes: … hello again.
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-25 Minutes: It’s english weeks again. Many english weeks to come.
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-24 Minutes: So let’s do it one more time in english language.
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-23 Minutes: Even when my text working program does not like it.
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-22 Minutes: It lays me stones in the way.
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-20 Minutes: Equal. That disturbs me not.
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-17 Minutes: Fighting and winning, business friends!
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-16 Minutes: Pellegreeny can’t play with.
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-14 Minutes: Shade. But now first right!
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-12 Minutes: Kick the cans out of the stadium!
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-10 Minutes: Unfortunately we have to play without Tony Yeboah and Jay Jay today.  
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-9 Minutes: They both missed too much chances on Thursday, I guess.
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-7 Minutes: Onetracht from Main, only you shall win today!
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-4 Minutes: Black white like snow, this is the NGO! Uhm … SGE!   
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-1 Minute: Thinking minute for the Olympia victims 1972. Well done.
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Anpfiff: Felix Break. Make my day.
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1.Minute: The best will be, we shoot the first goal.
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2. Minute: There can you nothing wrong make.
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3. Minute: Is the Browse outway fanblock almost empty like every time? Yes.
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5. Minute: Same question: Is the Pope catholic?  
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8. Minute: Onetracht is house high overlying, so far.  
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10. Minute: Deitschi … gooooaaaaa … no. Offsides.
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11. Minute: The Ballhorn quarterhalftime conclusion: 
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12. Minute: No sports!
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13. Minute: No, just joking. :)
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17. Minute: Up goes it, Onetracht, shoot a… GOOOOAAAAAL!
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18. Minute: Who says it then? It’s Kolo and Deitschi once again!
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20. Minute: Head over heels in love with this team.
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22. Minute: They nail stinking rich Browse in their own half fixxxxx – YAAAAAAY!
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23. Minute: SEPPEL RODE! What is then here loose? Two zero!
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26. Minute: Loddar Maddäus: „Not even the Referee can stop them.“
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30. Minute: Long time her, that we have so what seen.
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32. Minute: Oh no. Seppel must out. Muscle problem in the overshenkel. Good bettering. Junior Ebimbe comes in.
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34. Minute: Show it them, Junior!
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37. Minute: Not afterletting now, Onetracht!
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39. Minute: Glue Browse plays like wood hackers. Sorry.
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40. Minute: Kicks more our legs than the ball.
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43. Minute: Since when is the Glue Browse such a wood hacker troop?
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45. Minute: And since when is even our Upwair so cool? They let nothing to! Without Rabbit B and Hinti!
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HTB (Half time break): Extremely gile.
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SHTB (Still half time break): Football 2000 2.0
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SHTB: Europes best team – SGE!
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46. Minute: Further goes it.
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47. Minute: One thing is very strange.
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49. Minute: We have a certain ball security in our Aufbauspiel.   
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51. Minute: It’s something we don’t know in Frankfurt yet.
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54. Minute: We know „Frankfurter Spielaufbau“. A kind of flipper game. Nobody knows where the ball will be.
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57. Minute: But Browse wears itself now.  
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60. Minute: Maybe they drank something without sugar in the half time break.
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64. Minute: And the Referee left his whistle on the toilet, or what?
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66. Minute: On the best, we shoot another GOOOAL!
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67. Minute: Or? Video Assistant Thingens …yes – GOOOOOAAAAAAL!
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69. Minute: I would have sworn, they whistle it up.
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72. Minute: But ok, it’s three zero.
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75. Minute: Three zero. Hold me for crazy. Hold me for oversnapped (© Herbert Zimmermann).  
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78. Minute: Andre Silva, so you like playing for the money.
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80. Minute: Not for the game.
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81. Minute: Oh! Hand play in the Browse penalty room. No Elevener.
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82. Minute: The whole world saw it. Felix Break and the VAR didn’t.
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83. Minute: Ok. Now foul in the Browse penalty room. Anyone seen it?
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84. Minute: Ah, surprise now: yes!
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85. Minute: Rafa Porree, just changed in, kicks the Elevener – GOOOOOOOAAAAAL! Onetracht: Four! Browse: Zero!
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88. Minute: Well. Browse, „RB Leipzig“, coming to Frankfurt since 2016.
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90. Minute: When will you realize: Football is here in Frankfurt. Love for a football team is here in Frankfurt.
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91. Minute: It is not what you think Football is.
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Upwhistle: Get it.
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93. Minute: Oh what a night. 

Von Thomas Stillbauer 

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